When It’s All About Them:

When It’s All About Them: Breaking Free from Toxic Cycles

You ever been in a situation where no matter what you do, no matter how much you try to fix things, the other person just refuses to change? Not because they can’t—but because they don’t want to. Because it benefits them to keep everything exactly as it is, no matter how miserable it makes you.

And when you finally decide you’ve had enough? When you choose yourself, your future, your sanity? That’s when the real chaos begins. That’s when they act like they have no idea why you’re pulling away, like you’re the bad guy for finally refusing to be a prisoner in your own life.

The Cycle That Never Ends (Until You End It)

Toxic people don’t evolve; they maintain. They build a world where everything revolves around them—where your needs, your happiness, your progress only matter when it affects them negatively. And the moment you try to break free? It’s like they short-circuit.

They’ll blow up your phone, they’ll play victim, they’ll act like they have no idea what they did wrong. They’ll weaponize your empathy—the same empathy that kept you there way past the expiration date of that relationship, that friendship, that toxic, suffocating mess.

But what they won’t do? Take accountability. They won’t reflect. They won’t say, “Damn, maybe I pushed too far. Maybe I took too much.” No. They will never willingly look in the mirror and recognize that they were the problem.

Gaslighting and Guilt: The Last Desperate Moves

If you’ve ever dealt with someone like this, you know how it goes. They rewrite history. Suddenly, they’re the victim, and you? You’re the cruel, heartless villain who walked away.

It doesn’t matter that you spent years giving them chances. It doesn’t matter that you had to fight just to carve out a sliver of your own life outside of their chaos. To them, your escape isn’t about you reclaiming yourself—it’s about you betraying them.

And then there’s the guilt. Oh, the guilt. The late-night texts about how hard it is for them. The endless sob stories. The desperate attempts to keep you tethered, to keep you feeling responsible for their well-being.

But where was all this self-awareness when you were struggling? When you were drowning in their mess? When you were forced to put yourself last, again and again, just to keep the peace?

It was never there. Because it was never about you.

Walking Away Isn’t Cruel—It’s Necessary

If someone truly cared, they wouldn’t have let things get this bad in the first place. They wouldn’t have forced you to reach the point where leaving was your only option. But toxic people don’t see it that way.

To them, you were never supposed to leave. You were supposed to keep enduring, keep tolerating, keep making excuses for them. And when you finally stop? When you decide your life actually belongs to you? That’s when they panic. That’s when they realize they can’t control you anymore.

That’s why they lash out. That’s why they lie. That’s why they’ll drag your name, try to turn people against you, do everything in their power to make it seem like you were the problem.

But you weren’t.

And deep down, they know it.

You Owe Them Nothing

You don’t owe them closure.

You don’t owe them explanations.

You don’t owe them a single second more of your time.

They had years to fix things. They had years to meet you halfway, to show up as an equal, to be the kind of person who deserved to stay in your life.

They chose not to.

And now? Now you choose you.